Is there a Musketeer thread yet?????

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Jeff Adams, Sep 7, 2001.

  1. Jeff Adams

    Jeff Adams Screenwriter

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    I have not seen any reviews on the Musketeer. Ha anyone seen it yet?
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    "I'm your Huckelberry"
     
  2. Coressel

    Coressel Supporting Actor

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  3. Scott McGillivray

    Scott McGillivray Supporting Actor

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    I saw this one on the weekend. I would have to say that you should avoid this one. I was looking forward to this movie as I enjoy the subject matter, I really like Tim Roth and thought that the fight scenes would be great.
    However, I knew something was a wrong with the very start of the credits. The music started and it reminded me of some cheesy 80's tv show music. The credits themselves were emblazoned on top of the worst looking pictures. They were supposed to look like tapestries, but were so obviously just bad computer effects of standard picutres...ugh...you would just have to see it to understand. The movie itself was just so lifeless and cliche'. The sound and cinemetography was just so...boring. Even the wonderful fights scenes did not get me excited because I did not care for the characters and the lighting and sound were so poor.
    The whole movie was, like I have said, so cliche that it really left you with a feeling that you had actually seen this movie before. Indeed, if you have seen "The Three Musketeers" you HAVE seen this before. There is not a whole lot different other than this one really bores the heck out of you.
    Wait for a video realase on this one.
     
  4. David Oliver

    David Oliver Second Unit

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    I could have just cut and pasted Scott's review. I would avoid this movie. Some of the fight scenes were pretty good, but most were poorly cut, poorly edited, poorly lit and just seemed to be lacking in many ways. The music was very cheesy.
     
  5. Matt_Stevens

    Matt_Stevens Supporting Actor

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    Peter Hyams believes lighting scenes with matches is the proper way to shoot. [​IMG]
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    www.deceptions.net/superman
    [Edited last by Matt_Stevens on September 10, 2001 at 10:04 PM]
     
  6. David Lee

    David Lee Stunt Coordinator

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    I saw it this past Sunday. Definately avoid it. The fight scenes were very choppy and poorly edited. Big disapointment. As others have said, the lighting is terrible. Mena Suvari was bad as well. Her character was born in Spain and lived in France, yet she had a pseudo-British accent similar to Princess Leia in A New Hope. Catherine Deneuve seemed to be the only one in France with a French accent.
     
  7. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    Copy and paste above review.
    The first fight scene was VERY VERY weak.
    The scene when the good guy( [​IMG]) is climbing the tower was one of the worst scenes ever...
    Brent L
     
  8. Scott McGillivray

    Scott McGillivray Supporting Actor

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    Wow...you have to know a film is really bad when a thread about it can be running as long as this and it STILL has not attained "Official" status on the forum. This movie (and corresponding thread) has generated about as much interest as crop rotation processes for beet farmers. [​IMG]
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    Scott A. McGillivray
    Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan
    "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?
    Brace yourself like a man; I will question you,
    and you shall answer me." - God
    Scott's HT Gear
     
  9. BrandonL

    BrandonL Stunt Coordinator

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    I thought some of the fight scenes were good. Though they were hard to tell what was going on. That beginning was really lame though with those pictures. And a lot of the dialog was horrible, like the jokes they tried to make and the way some of the people interacted. I wish I could just get that last fight scene, that was pretty original.
     
  10. James D S

    James D S Screenwriter

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    Had I known that the trailer for Brotherhood of the Wolf was going to be the most entertainment I would have that night, I could have saved myself two agonizing hours.
    "What I have to offer you, that's as good as it's going to get. And it ain't going to get that good again."
    Cons: Not enough fighting. And what fighting there was was washed out by the lack of light. Too much meaningless Mena. Overweight Musketeers. Overuse of wires by people who had no business using wires in the first place. Not enough Tim Roth. Shoddy intro credits. Stephen Rhea is no Tim Curry.
    I enjoyed the music, despite its lack of uniqueness/creativity (strange, I know) and the trailer reel.
    Procede with caution.
     
  11. Jeff Adams

    Jeff Adams Screenwriter

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    Well, I saw this movie and have to say it was dissapointing. I agree, not enough fighting, the fighting that did happen was too hard to tell what was going on or who was fighting who and Tim Roth? He was so bad ass in that movie but he was not used nearly enough. I do have to say that Tim Roth is one of my favorite actors, he really knows how to play the bad guy role.
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  12. Scott Weinberg

    Scott Weinberg Lead Actor

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    Thought I'd share my review with everyone. Writing this piece was 1,000 times more entertaining than watching the movie.
    The Musketeer - [​IMG] (out of [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] )
    The most realistic action scenes caught on film since...The Care Bears Movie.
    Bad, bad, bad. Slow, wooden, uninvolving, sloppy, dull, choppy, tired, amateurish. Three cartoonishly preposterous action sequences are surrounded by some of the laziest and most yawn-inspiring cinematic machinations ever captured on celluloid. All that, and it just plain sucks.
    Making the Grade (1984)
    King Solomon's Mines (1985)
    Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986)
    Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
    Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (1987)
    Honeymoon Academy (1990)
    Loaded Weapon 1 (1993)
    Operation Dumbo Drop (1995)
    Sudden Death (1995)
    What do all these movies have in common? (Aside from the fact that they all rank among the most retarded movies ever made, that is.) Would you believe they were all written by the same guy? Who'd have thought that one writer would have the range to go from a Police Academy sequel to a Van Damme action turkey? Only Gene Quintano could pull it off, and somehow manage to STILL earn a living as a screenwriter. Obviously oblivious to Quintano's earlier work, producers hired him to pen yet another adaptation of Dumas' Musketeers tale. Woop.
    Am I insane, or have we all forgotten the double doody assault that was Disney's The Three Musketeers and that turgid DiCaprio version of The Man in the Iron Mask? How many times does the same concept have to fail on a biblical level before producers move on to another dead author? And as ridiculously bad as those two movies were, The Musketeer burrows deep down and discovers a whole new breed of wretchedness.
    A young child watches
    as his parents get slain
    Then the kid runs away
    And hides on the plain
    He returns when he's older
    And he's ready to fight
    He's usually handsome and buff
    and gets laid the first night
    He discovers the truth
    that the sheriff/priest/king
    Is the villain he's seeking
    for that whole 'revenge' thing
    Sidekicks and henchmen
    Horses and swords
    cliche and contrivance
    Audience bored

    Sorry, I was just inspired by the sheer plagiaristic, tired familiar tedium of The Musketeer. If I told you that there was not one single, solitary new idea in this movie, you'd think I was exaggerating. You'd be extremely wrong. The plot is lifted whole from a dozen other movies, every single character onscreen fully represents the adventure-movie stereotypes, and the acting is uniformly atrocious.
    Justin Chambers is vacant in the lead role, and he reminds one of a Chris O'Donnell/Freddie Prinze Jr. hybrid, only with less screen presence. Tim Roth shows up to wear an eyepatch and swing a sword, but I'm fairly certain that his performance here was simply footage from Rob Roy spliced in and made more dingy. Catherine Deneuve plays royalty and if you listen very carefully in one scene you can hear her mutter "Can I please have my check now?" The most entertaining performance comes from lovely young Mena Suvari, basically because she's just awful. Watching her quivery lips trying to spit out the British inflection is like watching a leech on a hot plate. I'm not saying Suvari is a poor actress; I'm just saying I've never seen her give a good performance.
    Supporters of this film (perhaps 7 worldwide) may point out the various action sequences as a testament to the film's entertainment value. They'd be wrong, because the action scenes in this film are about as realistic (and exciting) as your average Tom & Jerry cartoon. Our hero wobbles around on barrels, hangs from the rafters, leaps from horse to horse, swings from massive towers and flops around on the world's stupidest collection of ladders. If the intent of the action scenes were to invoke peals of incredulous laughter, then director Peter Hyams may end up being nominated for his work here. This movie even sinks so low as to blatantly steal that "Indiana Jones slide under the moving car" bit and doesn't even have the brains to make it exciting.
    Boasting the silliest opening credits in recent memory and a laundry list of cinematic stupidity, The Musketeer easily ranks among the year's worst movies. Fans of "so bad it's good" filmmaking will have a field day, while everyone else in the room slowly grows retarded.
    [​IMG]
     

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