Is it too much to ask for a nice not complicated girl???

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by MikeAlletto, Oct 2, 2001.

  1. MikeAlletto

    MikeAlletto Cinematographer

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    I just met someone really great. We both had a great time and actually went out 2 days in a row. Problem was she just got out of a long relationship (well she had been out of it for 4 weeks). Now I can't get her to go out again cause she says she doesn't know what she wants. She wants to spend time with me, but at the same time she doesn't know. Well last night I'm afraid I totally screwed it up. Basically I told her that I can't just keep hanging on while she sorts herself out. I told her she knows how I feel about her, but it hurts too much for me to just stand by hoping that she'll come around. There is no way for me to help her move on so I told her that the only thing I can think of is for me to just disappear and not talk to her for awhile until she figures out what she wants. I'm not going to email her, call her or instant message her. When she wants to talk again she will have to contact me. At the time it sounded like a good idea, but now I'm not so sure.
    Someone out there convince me that I did the right thing???
    If its not work that drives me crazy its a woman...
     
  2. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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    It's tough to be the "rebound guy". Just be honest, which it sounds you have. If she digs you, and you tell her to make the next step, the ball's in her court, and she'll have to balance getting over the last relationship with the potential rewards of starting one with you.
    But, don't mope around, go back to your normal routine before you started taking her out. If she calls, great! If she doesn't, it's not the end of the world. Give her a month. If she's not ready, she'll never be ready FOR YOU.
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  3. Shane Gralaw

    Shane Gralaw Second Unit

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    ABSOLUTELY DO NOT KEEP CALLING HER. Otherwise you will be the reliable "stand-by" guy she will contact when she feels the need to be worshipped. Let her come to you- and even then don't seem too eager. If she doesn't call you, then you will know you liked her way more than she liked you and you wouldn't want a relationship with such a disparity in attraction.
    Stay aloof; remember- we only pursue the ones who run away...
     
  4. Clinton McClure

    Clinton McClure Casual Enthusiast
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    I always seem to be the rebound guy too. It's very frustrating. I'm going to start a petition that women should come with a user's manual which contains a FAQ. [​IMG]
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  5. Alex Spindler

    Alex Spindler Producer

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    That's going to be a big manual. With all kinds of exception clauses.
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  6. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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  7. JonZ

    JonZ Lead Actor

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    "Is it too much to ask for a nice not complicated girl???"
    Yes it is.
    I agree with Ryan, she sounds like she doesnt know what she wants.If she calls you fine.See whats happens.If not, her loss.If she plays games, run!!!
    Everyone has some baggage, but the key is not to let the past interfere with current or future relationships.You have to give each new person the benefit of the doubt and start from scratch every time-no matter how much you were hurt.If not,trouble will always be ahead.
    My guidelines are very simple:
    Brutal honesty(which alot of people cant handle-Im a Scorpio.I cant help it,I always want to know the truth [​IMG] ),consideration and NO GAMES.She may REALLY not know what she wants, but if I wanted to hear "I dont know" "Im not sure" "I like you but I dont know" or whatever,Id date high school girls.Simply , I'm too old for that stuff.
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    [Edited last by JonZ on October 02, 2001 at 01:35 PM]
     
  8. JonZ

    JonZ Lead Actor

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    Double
    [Edited last by JonZ on October 02, 2001 at 01:31 PM]
     
  9. Jin E

    Jin E Second Unit

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  10. MikeAlletto

    MikeAlletto Cinematographer

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  11. Micheal

    Micheal Screenwriter

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    Mike, I don't think Jin E meant any harm. It's just that you asked a very loaded question. Everyone's life is complicated and I'm sure that if there were more women on this board they would be saying "I've asked that same question about men a thousand times" [​IMG]
    My advice to you is to give her a lot of space, if she likes you she'll come around. Besides, it's sounds like you've only got out a couple of times so she really shouldn't mean all that much to you should she? I mean how well do you really know her anyway?
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  12. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    Another rebound guy here. Mike, give her a month or so to figure things out. If she doesn't have things sorted out by then, to hell with it. That sounds tough, but it's what you gotta do. Believe me, I speak from experience...
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  13. Jin E

    Jin E Second Unit

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  14. MikeAlletto

    MikeAlletto Cinematographer

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  15. AdrianJ

    AdrianJ Supporting Actor

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    Four weeks isn't much time to cope with the ending of a relationship. Just back off and give her time to adjust to being single again and starting a new relationship. If it is right, she'll decide to come back. Otherwise, there is little else that you can do that will make a positive impact on her. On the other hand, there is quite a bit you can do that will make a huge negative impact!! [​IMG]
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  16. Eric Scott

    Eric Scott Second Unit

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  17. Tim Markley

    Tim Markley Screenwriter

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    ALL women are complicated. It sounds to me like you're rushing into things and she's not ready for that. Just back off and give her some space. You need to be friends first. Keep in touch with her but go out with other women. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. You just need to give it time.
     
  18. MikeM

    MikeM Screenwriter

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    "Is it too much to ask for a nice not complicated girl???"
    No, it's not.
    "Is it too much to ask for a nice not complicated beautiful girl???
    Yes, yes, it is. [​IMG]
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  19. Jeff Ulmer

    Jeff Ulmer Producer

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    I'd agree that four weeks is way too short a period of time for someone to respond from a relationship breakup, especially if it had any meaning for them, and now is NOT the time to be getting involved with her. I also don't understand the rush on your part for a commitment, though given the circumstances, her reaction is not unexpected unless she is a cold shallow bitch who is incapable of feelings for anyone and can write off a long relationship in a month. It takes time to sort out things like this.
    This doesn't really sound all that complicated either. Throw in a couple of kids, a few ex-spouses, and some background issues that you won't discover for years and you can begin to talk about complicated. This girl is on the rebound, and you don't want to be the rebound guy, unless you are just out to use her, which I hope is not the case.
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  20. Philip_G

    Philip_G Producer

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