Got any Top Ten Lists?

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by SteveGon, Sep 7, 2001.

  1. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2000
    Messages:
    12,267
    Likes Received:
    1
    Myself and several co-workers had a "Top Ten List" contest at work a couple of days ago - here's mine. If you've got one, post it! [​IMG]
    TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT JUST BE THE BIGGEST LOSER THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN
    10. The schoolbus driver makes you jump for it.
    9. Black cats have a saying about you.
    8. You're not even welcome at Star Trek conventions.
    7. Your parents ask you if you want to be a foreign exchange student -- forever.
    6. Your grandmother once baked you razor-studded cookies.
    5. You were featured on America's Least Wanted.
    4. You once lost a popularity contest to a child-molesting Nazi lawyer with body odor.
    3. Your parents tied a pork chop around your neck and the dog still wouldn't play with you.
    2. You donate your body to science but science doesn't want it.
    1. You're contemplating suicide by jumping off a bridge when a naive angel comes down from Heaven to show you what life would be like had you never existed. But when he finds out that things actually would have been better without you around, he pushes your sorry ass over the side himself.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    ------------------
    He thought on homeland, the big timber, the air thin and chill all the year long. Tulip poplars so big through the trunk they put you in mind of locomotives set on end. He thought of getting home and building him a cabin on Cold Mountain so high that not a soul but the nighthawks passing across the clouds in autumn could hear his sad cry. Of living a life so quiet he would not need ears. And if Ada would go with him, there might be the hope, so far off in the distance he did not even really see it, that in time his despair might be honed off to a point so fine and thin that it would be nearly the same as vanishing.
    -- Charles Frazier, Cold Mountain
     

Share This Page