Getting married...need some assistance (1 Viewer)

[Mat_M]

Hey folks, Mat here.

My future wife and I are getting married in early June and are now going through the process of making a registry. My question is, for those that are married, what do you wish you would have registered for after the event of your marriage?

You know, basic stuff that you now need, but could have asked for in the registry.

Thanks guys!

 

[KyleS]

I would have to say it would be easier to tell you what we Shouldnt have asked for. In hind sight I would say that we asked for too many things that we really didnt need, and GOT. Then we were stuck with returning the items and hoping the people never stopped in and asked about what they gave you.

I know that some couples have started asking for Stocks, savings bonds, or cold hard cash but presonally we didnt do that because it was lacking in taste IMHO.

I do wish that we would have asked for more dining sets since we now do not have enough especially in the Silverware department. Just make sure that you ask for things that you are actually going to use after you are married.

KyleS

 

[Mat_M]

Thanks man!

Any other contributions?

 

[Kirk Gunn]

Just register at Home Depot - you can't go wrong !

Kyle's suggestion is a winner - nice table settings are not something you will normally buy on your own (can be very pricey). But as your nuclear family grows and you start entertaining more, they are great to have.

Nothing is worse than having your parents, in-laws, cousins, etc over for Thanksgiving and setting a table with cheesy silverware from Wal-Mart !

 

[Scott Merryfield]

I'll second the Home Depot suggestion. Also consider Sears.

It seems like almost all wedding gifts are things like dishes, silverware, small kitchen appliances, towels, etc. Rarely do you receive items that help with household repairs, such as tools. One of the most useful gifts we received was a set of pipe wrenches and drain snake -- my wife wasn't thrilled, but I think of the people who gave them to us whenever I use them. We've given Shop Vacs as wedding gifts in the past.

 

[Bill Williams]

I know what you mean, Mat. My fiancee' and I discussed different things we needed for our apartment when we generated our registries. We got engaged this past July, and we're now a little over three weeks away from the big day! February 14th, to be exact!

We set one up at Amazon.com and that's really helpful for people you know who live out of state and can't travel to your wedding. I've gotten several gifts thus far from people who got them through Amazon.com. It's pretty easy to set it up! My fiancee' and I compared the list and talked about what we needed and what we didn't need, and it made the registry process easier.

We also set up a registry at Wal-Mart. We went to the local Wal-Mart and picked out what we wanted, and by storing it on their computer, it can be accessed nationwide for us. Likewise for McRae's, a southeastern chain of department stores.

But we went for a lot of the basics - kitchen accessories, mainly, but also fine china, everyday dinnerware (I found a wonderful 82-piece everyday dinnerware set at Wal-Mart - plates, saucers, coffee cups, soup bowls, even napkin rings and salt and pepper shakers - all for only $21!), flatware, steak knives, glasses, cookware, linens, bathroom linens and accessories. And a good vacuum cleaner for the house or apartment. Those are the biggies. Since we're bringing furniture and things from our homes to our apartment, that's mainly what we need at this point.

Hope that helps!

 

[Lew Crippen]

I’m an advocate of requesting things like fine china, crystal, high quality linens and so forth.

The ordinary, day-to-day stuff will come and go with little memory, while you will still be using your ‘best’ table settings for you silver wedding anniversary.

 

[BrettB]

Agree wholeheartedly with the dinnerware/silverware. It's very expensive to put together everything you need. And get something traditional that you're not going to hate in 3 years.

Congrats.

 

[Chris]

Yep, table settings, knives, dinnerware, smaller household appliances (ie, don't put "Refridgerator" but "Toaster" or Coffee maker is OK). I always say make sure you've got a good set of items less then $25, because you will have people who may want to buy you something, but don't want to spend a lot. Things like "XYZ Kitchen Wisk" or "Gizmo Can Opener" etc.

Dining stuff and kitchen will help you immensely. You'll need it and it can last you if you take care of it. Pots, Pans, etc. also go on that kind of list

 

[andrew markworthy]

The best advice I received was 'remember that you want a marriage not a wedding'.

This may sound weird, but we didn't ask for anything costing over about 15 pounds (about 25 dollars, I guess). This was for two reasons:

(a) there was quite a disparity between the incomes of the guests (some of our friends were impoverished postgraduate students), and we didn't want to put anyone in an awkward position.

(b) Both my wife and I had accrued enough stuff for the household already without having anything more dumped on us(e.g. four complete china dinner services, four good qulity canteens of cutlery, well over 100 crystal wine glasses).

We therefore asked for deliberately silly or abstruse things like a fish kettle or a replica phrenologist's head.

Incidentally, we only had the absolute closest friends and relatives to the wedding, and had the reception in a local country inn noted for its food and atmosphere rather than its aesthetic appeal. There was an absolute ban on formality and strictly *no* speeches. Result was that everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves and nobody ended up with a huge bill.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Good knives - specify Henckel, Wustoff or if you have very rich attendees, Viking (yikes! $500-600 for a block). Don't specify and you will get Faberware and hate them.

Good cookware - KitchenAid, All-Clad, LeCruset. Again specify what brand. Add a list of extra pots/accesories in addition to a set you may want so you can have gifts listed that are under $100.

My suggestion with any kitchen stuff is to specify quality brands. It's much better to have 1 high quality knife or piece of cookware than a whole set of lesser quality. Any of the above brands should last a lifetime or more! I'm still using some of my Dad's kitchen stuff that is 20-25 years old. He always overbought on quality and I'm honored to keep using it in his memory.

 

[Stephen Weller]

Henckels! Specify four or five star.

I love them and hate them. I have a block of four stars and a set of five star steak knives.

What I love: They're indestructible and hold the edge forever.

What I hate: They have sharp edges along the top ridge. The one I use most (8" kitchen) takes the skin off my index finger if I chop with it for extended periods while holding it the "normal" or "correct" way. Solution? Now I hold it with my index finger extended straight out over the backbone.

 

[DonRoeber]

We got married last September. We registered at Linens N Things, and JCPenny. We've been homeowners for two years, so we had a lot of the Home Depot and Sears type things. We registered for a new set of dishes, but not fine china. We really weren't interested in having a set of china. A good set of Pfalzgraff works well for us. I also got a whole new set of kitchen everything. Just about everything that KitchenAid makes, and a full compliment of Calphalon knives and pots.

Don't be afraid to register for more unusual things, like furniture. We got a few bookshelves that we really needed as gifts, and are very happy with them.

We also had enough stuff that we were careful not to register for things just so that people would have something to buy us. Sure, some people shopped off of the registry anyway (I wasn't a big fan of having one at all, but had to give in to parental pressure), but for the most part, we got stuff we wanted.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Yeah Stephen, specifying the forged steel models will prevent the cursed "Eversharp" from appearing. Great knives, the forged, but not so indestructible. My dad had a 4 Star chef's knife that my brother broke. He was opening a paint can with it (not everyone in the family appreciates fine knives) and snapped off the tip. Henckel replaced it, no questions asked. I also watched my brother use a Henckel bread knife to make a funnel by cutting the bottom off a plastic motor oil bottle. I do not allow my brother near my kitchen, needless to say.

 

[Erik.Ha]

Its impossible to answer the question because, nobody knows what you have already or what you really need.

For us, we already had TWO full households of "stuff" that we were merging into one (meaning, I had to throw out a lot of my stuff). We didn't really NEED anything else, thus, we came up with a pretty interesting solution to the whole "registry" thing.

We had our wedding out of town for us (in my wife's hometown in the midwest) and used this as an excuse to request that people give us CASH instead of gifts because "we would have a hard time shipping stuff back".

Considering how much a wedding costs these days, you can never get too much CASH to pay the thing off!

Luckily, someone broke the rules and got us the Henkles Knives anyway

 

[Stephen Weller]

*MAYBE* I should have qualified that with "virtually" or stated "used as drected."

OR:

Actual mileage will vary. Results not typical. Etc...etc...

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Definitely "used as directed" !

 

[Leila Dougan]

When I got married 1.5 years ago, we did not have a registry. All of the guests were close friends and family so word got around that we preferred cash. We did get some gifts still, which was alright with us. We didn't really need anything and didn't have any storage room anyway.

 

[David Lawson]

Friends of mine "respectfully requested" no boxed gifts, a somewhat polite way of asking for cash. To be fair, there was allegedly some sort of cultural mandate that the newly-married couple repay her father for at least some of the wedding expenses, though I've never heard of such a thing before or since.

They got a bottled gift from me.

 

[Lew Crippen]

I’m not sure to which culture you are referring, but I can say that I have attended weddings where the reception guests are expected to (at the least) figure out the per head cost of the reception and place at least that much cash in a red envelope.

Everybody does it and it would be a minor social error to do otherwise.

When in Rome…