"Customer Locator Codes"

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Micah Cohen, Jan 16, 2006.

  1. Micah Cohen

    Micah Cohen Screenwriter

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    I have no Netflixes for this evening, and I feel like it's my duty to get everyone's attention off the fate of the poor little doggie, so let me ask this question:

    What do the "Customer Locator Codes" now found on the back of "postpaid return mail" envelopes actually do?

    For years it has been a habit of mine that I collect all the stupid junk mail -- credit card offers and magazine subscription come-ons, etc -- in a big pile and every once in a while I'll go thru it and make a big pile of the post paid return envelopes that are always included in credit card offers and magazine subscription come-ons. I stuff the post paid return envelopes with the (anonymous) marketing loot that is also found inside the junk mail, and I put the whole pile back in the mail box the next day.

    I figure, if they send this stuff out and then have to pay for it (junk mailers only pay return postage if the post paid envelope goes into the mail), maybe they will... I don't know, find god or something and stop junk mailing me. I know it's pointless, but I do like the idea of making them pay for the postage for nothing.

    Now, I've noticed that some of the envelopes have ominous-looking bar-codes on the backs, "Customer Locator Codes"! But, the codes are all pre-printed. And, I've seen other people's junk mail, and their codes are exactly the same as the codes on my junk mail. So, the codes are really meaningless. They are just there to scare us! They are just there to eff with people like me, people who send back the empty post paid envelopes, causing the junk mailer to have to pay for postage for nothing! These meaningless bits of ominously labeled bar codes are just there to intimidate us into not sending the post paid envelopes back empty!

    Or... are they?

    I'm in trouble, aren't I?

    MC
     
  2. Eric Kahn

    Eric Kahn Guest

    Keep sending them back, and if you are really afraid of the codes, use a big black magic marker on them [​IMG]

    Since I work for the post office, I want them all sent back, I want another raise (in my pay, not the stamp rate)
     
  3. Christ Reynolds

    Christ Reynolds Producer

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    i do the same thing [​IMG]

    CJ
     
  4. Henry Gale

    Henry Gale Producer

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    Amateurs! You're suppose to glue the envelope to a brick first.
     
  5. Micah Cohen

    Micah Cohen Screenwriter

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    AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    That's fricking GREAT!

    I'm doing that.

    MC
     
  6. Jay H

    Jay H Producer

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    Micah, just don't use the bricks that are holding up your roof, now!

    Of course, biking to the post office with a letters glued to bricks will illicit strange stares too.

    Jay
     
  7. Lynda-Marie

    Lynda-Marie Supporting Actor

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    Henry, you are an evil genius! [​IMG]
     
  8. ChristopherG

    ChristopherG Screenwriter

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    Someone in my family does this too and I thought that was one of the funniest things I ever heard of. He told me that his mailman told him the barcodes are the zipcode of the return address for the postage paid envelopes...?

    He also will take calls from telemarketers and then ask them to hold. He'll set the phone down, walk away and watch some tv or do something for a few minutes. After awhile, he'll pick the phone back up and if they are still there will say "please keep holding, I'll be right with you". His goal is to keep them on as long as possible while completely wasting their time.
     

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