Think you are computer illiterate? Here's a tid-bit from a WSJ article my MIS professor sent out. Please read! The challenge of infusing new technology into a legacy environment is not a simple task. As Californians go to the polls Tuesday, remember that the state's larger counties still use punch cards. If you marveled at the chaos created by the punch card or the butterfly ballot in Florida, the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal should convince you that a lifetime career is awaiting you, notwithstanding any struggles you may be experiencing with mapping the Key Process Areas to Work Products for your team project. 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies. 4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on and was heard putting the telephone down, getting up, and crossing the room to close the door to his room. 5. Another Dell customer called to say he could not get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. 6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually. 7. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid. The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and invalid" responses should not be taken personally. 8. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still could not "see" the printer. 9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support could not get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens. The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse. 10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer would not work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?" 11. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in." The user had not realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first. 12. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems. 13. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it is because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about apromotion. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he could not stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive. 14. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. That is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine." 15. TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'. TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob. CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?" TECH SUPPORT: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"