Anybody ever meet someone special on the internet? (1 Viewer)

[Christ Reynolds]

A lot of people post fake photos and are not what they advertise. They can string you along on chat for months just for grins and they get off on it. Don't invest a lot of time and emotion until you know she's real.

i had a friend who met this girl over the internet somewhere, and after a while, he called her his girlfriend, even though they never met. she supposedly lived in canada, near PEI. we live near cape cod, so its quite a hike. every time 'she' was supposed to meet up with him, something would come up. but he believed her, even after this happened like 15 times. and she was supposedly really rich, owned horse farms or something. and her cousin was brett hull from the red wings...sounds like BS to me. but heres the kicker. he showed me a picture, she looked like the trashiest porn star ive ever seen. and thats saying alot! anyway, he was the only one who didnt see through her lies and such, he was so defensive when anyone mentioned anything, even his family. they 'broke up' 2 years later, without ever meeting. i'm just glad i'm not that dumb...i'd want to meet her before our one year anniversary!

CJ

 

[Philip Hamm]

I'm happy to say that I've met some very good friends that way, including a few on this very forum.

Word.
Rain wrote what I wanted to write on page 1. I have met some really good friends right here on this very forum. I've met some of them at local meets, most at my house, sometimes theirs, and at the last two Scooterpaloozas. Scooter, Ron, Packy, and the Admin staff top the list.
As far as women, no, I never tried online. I used to belong to an organization called "Single Volunteers of DC". It is a local vonlunteer group for singles only. Often happy hour would follw directly after the volunteer work. I thought that was a great way to meet people but I never met anyone special (to me - everyone volunteering was special) there. I highly recommend SVDC and similar organizations.
I'm only going to be technically "single" for another three weeks.

 

[Scooter]

I met the Lovely Michelle in '96 on IRC...so the answer is..yeah!

 

[Marshall W. Carter]

I met my current significant other online a couple of years ago (though we've only been dating for the last 6 months or so). Yes, we're well-acquainted (referring to IN PERSON, PHYSICAL MEETINGS over the past couple of years) and if all goes according to my master plan (MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!), tying the knot is a very real possibility The thing to take into consideration is that long-distance relationships are a difficult thing, and that 95% of internet relationships seem to fall under this category. It takes work, sacrifice and a lot of trust between those involved. My Hunny and I (heh) try to visit one another every month and a half or so (going up in less than two weeks!!! WOOHOO! Bringing her a DVD player this time...got to break her into the HT lifestyle ) to try to give some regularity to the whole thing, as well as lots of long talks on the phone (love those free nights and weekends with free long-distance) and even more instant messaging. Tough, but possible, and ultimately, worth it.
A general rule seems to be that the best things like this happen without much effort when there's open and honest communication, just like real life (not that this isn't). You have to be very careful, because there are so many people out there pretending to be something that they're not, that it's ridiculous, but then again, there are lots of people like that withing a few miles of your homes as well I'm sure.

 

[Jenna]

I have found out that most of the woman that put up online profiles have something wrong with them, either physically or mentally. They tend to be online because they can easily hide their problems until you actually meet them.

Mike, that's quite a statement. Since you haven't met "most of the women that put up online profiles", your statement is somewhat prejudiced by your few experiences, which I suspect, have been negative. To assume that "women who post online profiles" have something "wrong with them" is both a disservice to them and to you. You may very well find the love of your life online, hiding behind a keyboard because she's been hurt "in the real world" and feels "safer" looking for companionship online. You never know.

I've posted a few online profiles and I can assure you that I don't "have something wrong with me". I have no trouble getting dates based on physical appearance...yet most men don't look beyond an attractive physical appearance to see that you have brains, opinions, and ambition. What's wrong with wanting to have someone "connect with you" on a mental level first, without liking you because of your looks??

Personally, I can identify with Sandra Bullock's character in "The Net". There's a "security" by distancing yourself from the outside world and surrounding yourself with high-tech equipment to hide behind, yet still maintain the attachment to others online. The men I talk to online seem to respect me in an "anonymous" manner that you sometimes can't find in the real world with the guy who's just staring at your rack...and I don't JUST mean the one that holds my A/V equipment. (Although someone saw that one and announced that he was in love.)

It's too bad that we don't have a "SINGLES" forum under the HomeTheaterForum. At least we all share a common fondness for the same hobby...and what could be better than the joining of two Home Theaters??? (Has anyone suggested this to Ron??)

 

[Jack Briggs]

Jenna, "no" in response to your question. Won't happen. But your statements about posts that generalize an entire population segment are very much taken seriously.

 

[Bruce Hedtke]

yet most men don't look beyond an attractive physical appearance to see that you have brains, opinions, and ambition. What's wrong with wanting to have someone "connect with you" on a mental level first, without liking you because of your looks??

Beautifully stated!

I have kept some online freinds for years. We haven't met, in all likelyhood, never will meet, but they're advice and humor and honesty is like gold to me. I have some real close present freinds and I don't feel any different towards my virtual freinds just because they aren't here. I value them and regard them as highly as anyone in my life.

Bruce

 

[Rob Gillespie]

I've met several people online and some of them have remained as good friends (think I mentioned that before).

I'm now single again, after my relationship of nine months fell apart earlier this month. I've turned to online message boards to try and get bits of advice and last night chatted to a woman who lives fairly local. She's in the same situation - newly single, with no single friends to hang around with, wanting to get out and socialise again. So what the hell, I'm meeting her on Wednesday. We seem to have a similar sense of humour so if nothing else we can have a laugh. We have something in common through our personal circumstances. That gives us something to talk about straight away.

Meeting someone via the web is no different to meeting them in any other way. You can meet people in person and they can be putting barriers up and giving you bull about who they are. It's really only a way of introducing yourself. Once you meet in person, it's no different at all.

 

[Mark Romero]

Jenna, you sound like quite a woman. And you are absolutely correct in your statements.

 

[Michael Martin]

C'mon Mike_D, post the story! You're killing us!

 

[Mike__D]

Okay, here's the episode you've all been waiting for!

Friday night, 7:30, sports bar. I get there first. This really cute blonde walks toward me, we exchange numerous smiles. I know this isn't her, but wouldn't mind if it was. She looks at me like she almost knows me. She asks me my name, "I'm Mike". "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else, I'm here on a blind date" LOL, you don't say! I wanted to say if it doesn't work out.... ahhh, damn my slow thinking mind!

I see her car pull up. Here we go! Heart starts pounding... anticipation is high. A tree blocks the view, so I can only see from her knees down, until she gets much closer. She finally emerges past the tree, this is it, this is the moment I've been waiting for. Be prepared to be blown away.... who the hell is that?!?! A look of confusion can best describe my facial expression. She obviously recognizes me. "Now how come I recognize you, but you don't me?" I want to say, "Might be that YOU LOOK NOTHING, I MEAN NOTHING LIKE THE PHOTOS YOU SENT ME", instead I say "Ummmm, ahhhh, let's go in a get a drink" (or 10).

LOL... was I smoking crack last week? "the ONE". Must be adverse affects of the patch and cigarette withdrawal. No, can't be. I had my buddy and a co-worker verify the pictures of her were hot. And they were. How can someone look so different? How can somebody post they are "slim/slender" when they are not? I tried all night to find those few facial profiles that looked like her pictures. Not there. Let me try another beer or two (or 5 or 6), nope, still don't see it.

She also looked MUCH older than 28. I had the wool pulled over my eyes. Everything pointed to her being as great in person as in photos and on the phone. One of the things we had in common was that we were both extremely picky. I thought this was a sure sign she would be quite attractive in person (oh yeah, and THOSE DAMN PHOTOS TOO). I also assumed when she choose "slim/slender" under her online profile for her body type, that it meant she'd be slim & slender. Survey says.... NO! Maybe she sent me pics of her 20 year old sister??

Some of you warned me. Some said those photos might be fake. Some said the chemistry you get online or even over the phone isn't there when you meet in person. You were all right. I am an idiot. It was extremely hard for me to NOT get excited about this. I mean, we really hit it off well. My gut feeling rarely lets me down... RARELY. Damn my gut, damn it to hell! Even if I went into this thinking the worst, that would have not helped. I was not attracted to her in any way, shape, or form. Her great personality could not save her. I am picky, I NEED an attractive female, along with the personality. I can't have one or the other. I tried in the past. I CAN NOT help the way I feel, wish I could though.

Despite my disappointment, I tried to make the best of it. We had some laughs, bought her dinner, it was ok. Called it a night somewhat early (11:30). Sunday I emailed her, let her know I had a good time, but the chemistry wasn't there. Wished her well in her search to find that right person. She replied back saying the same.

Moral of the story... things aren't always what they seem. You think I'd have learned this by now, but no... little lessons of life always seem to pop up when you least expect them. But now I know to approach this online thing with EXTREME caution.

Oh well, hope you all enjoyed my journey into the online dating scene. I apologize to those that may have been offended by some of my "shallow" comments, but like I said, I can not help the way I feel. Believe me, if I could change that I would... Oh well, time to browse the profiles again. Maybe this time I'll look for the total opposite, and will be pleasantly surprised?? Who am I kidding...

Mike D.

 

[Patrick Sun]

When did the After Hours area become "The Onion"?
Sorry it didn't work out for you, Mike.

 

[Mark Schermerhorn]

Mike, sorry man, that's a bummer. Now you know how to approach it in the future. And there *are* attractive women in the online dating world. Don't approach the situation with any expectations and you'll be able to go out on quite a few dates without getting drained by it all.

Oh, and there is nothing superficial about wanting an attractive woman as long as that's not the only thing you care about.

 

[Kyle Richardson]

Ohhhhh Mike! That sucks! I'm sorry it didnt work out for you.

 

[Holadem]

I am picky, I NEED an attractive female, along with the personality. I can't have one or the other. I tried in the past. I CAN NOT help the way I feel, wish I could though.

I applaud you for having the courage to admit this. Too many "personality only" types her for my taste.
Sorry to hear that, I was gonna try the online thing, but your experience scared me back into the stone age (no online dating...)
--
Holadem

 

[Michael Martin]

Mike, thanks for sharing your experience. My condolences that she was not truthful in her represenation of herself. I would have been upset enough to outright ask her, or at least say "You look VERY different from the photos you sent."

And in regards to the missed opportunity with the hot blonde - just do it next time. Carpe diem, my friend.

I think also if you go back and read how other guys met their SOs/future wives online, the majority did so not in the "looking for love" context - it was through shared interests or pastimes, and the relationship developed from there. I advise you to continue to exercise caution, but don't count the Internet out on meeting someone. In many ways, it helps with a lot of the initial awkwardnesses (is that a word?) of meeting someone in person. I, for one, tend to be more quick-witted in a instant-messaging situation than in person.

Good luck and keep us posted on your journey!

 

[Marshall W. Carter]

Call me weird, but when my gf and I were first getting to know each other, we went out of the way NOT to let each other know what we looked like, aside from the obvious (hair color, eye color, height, etc.). Now, I know that's a *HUGE* risk, and wouldn't necessarily recommend such a course of action, but I thought that if I would trust her in other things, I might as well trust her on that. The first time we met in person was also the first time we laid eyes on each other, and I'm glad to report that I was very much pleased with her appearance, and most everything else for that matter (and vice-versa I would assume; I'm not GQ material, but I'm not going to be mistaken for a mutant ape from the Enquirer either).
It's probably a good thing that we didn't, neither of us photograph well at all Not everyone out there is going to be honest, but I'm sure there's a catch or two among the sharks.

 

[Mike__D]

Thanks for the responses.
Aside from the usually bar/club scene, which most will say they are tired of (including me), where else do you meet someone? Do you try and wait for that off chance meeting you catch the eye of some beauty at the supermarket? In this area, it seems the quality females are ALWAYS taken. It doesn't help that every club and bar is a damn Abe Froman party (yes, obscure comment, but relevant on a HT forum )
A few years ago I even considered moving to San Diego, where my sister now lives, because of all the beauties I saw out there. But that's just stupid to pick up and move across the country because I can't find "the ONE' here.
And most of my friends are now either married, or living with their GF's. I feel left out... I invested a lot of time (and money) in my last relationship only to realize she wasn't that person. What's a guy to do?
If anything pops up on my online venture again, I'll update this thread. Hell, if I meet anyone, I'll update this thread. Why not put my dating life up on the internet for all to read? Someone should get some amusement out of it
Mike D.
PS - If this thread isn't active in the next few months, it means things aren't looking good for me :b

 

[Ryan Wright]

I apologize to those that may have been offended by some of my "shallow" comments

Don't apologize. Your comments weren't shallow.
Anybody who says physical appearance doesn't matter is either blind or a liar. It matters to everyone. If you aren't physically attracted to someone, how can you expect to have a relationship with them?
Now, you'll also notice that ugly people get dates. Sometimes with other ugly people, sometimes with beautiful people. Why is this? You, or I, or society in general may find a person ugly, but somebody else thinks that person is beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While I need (and am married to) a short, slim, sexy little strawberry blonde, others may not find her attractive at all and instead opt for a tall brunette with a medium build. And that's cool - more strawberry blondes for me! Yeah!! Oh, wait... Nevermind.
Myself, I'm a geek. Not a bad looking geek - I never had much trouble getting dates - but I'm still a short little guy with glasses who loves computers. Not the type of man society would call "sexy", yet my wife thinks I'm the sexiest man alive. At least, that's what she says.
So, I hope I've made my point without pissing off more people than usual...

 

[Leif Wall]

That sucks man. I've met a couple girls off the net before. Both turned out to be psychos, though I never dated either. One I really wanted to at first, then I slowly got to know her and...she caused way too much trouble in my life. I don't know if I'd ever meet people off the net anymore. It's too weird and ackward for me, plus the previous bad experiences.

Sucks, because finding a girl here (Grand Forks, ND) is tough for me. It's a college town, no problem with that as I'm only 23. Most girls here seem to like the jock/preppy/trendy types, of which I'm not even in the same ballpark. If I can't find a girl who will at least tolerate the music that I listen to (mostly death metal and black metal, and yes I have long hair and wear black all the time) then I don't want her. That's life I guess.