Directors Another Crazy Brian Thingy! (1 Viewer)

[John Kilduff]

For the same, yet different reasons as kaplan stated, I vote by default for "The Dutch Oven".

Sincerely,

John Kilduff...

Well, you know how it goes.

 

[Brian Kissinger]

Only one vote separates these two, so I'm going to let this run until early Monday evening.

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

Tick-Tock

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

testing...

I'm only showing 63 posts, but the polls section shows 68 posts.

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

O.K. Board is back up!

Can we please continue with this? Only six of eight synapses have been posted.

Has anyone seen Brian in the last couple of days?

 

[Brad Porter]

The last two got posted:

It was dirty, dirty sex with Hollywood starlets and Barbra...

- vs -

Vaguely criminal things being done by bad people at a bar...

Brad

 

[Brian Kissinger]

Alright fellas, I'll have the last two back on line here in a moment.

 

[Brian Kissinger]

Here are the last two again.

---------------------------------------------------------


[c]Coming this summer....

...several times....

...from the producers of I'm a Clueless Bastard and I'm Ruining Brian's Game Right Now...

...is....

Babs' Demonic Orgy

Starring:

Jake Gittes (Chinatown)

Severen (Near Dark)

Garrett Breedlove (Terms of Endearment)

and

Barbara Streisand (as herself)[/c]


After a wild post-People's Choice Awards bash, two of Jack Nicholson's randier alter egos loudly announce a swinging sex orgy. All the curviest and nubilestest young starlets will all be in attendance and also played by the likes of Thora Birch, Christina Ricci, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Emily Mortimer and that Willow chick from Buffy. (Each actress has nullified their respective anti-bare boobie clause in their contracts.)

All is suitably sticky and sweet when that undead bastard from Near Dark shows up. Bellowing loudly and wielding all sorts of demonically-shaped sex toys, Severen insists that he be satisfied "beyond all measure" by one of the orgy guests. Breedlove offers up Ms. Barbara Streisand and the party's just beginning...

Written by David Mamet, both Coens, one Wachowski and seven Baldwins...

Directed by John Derek.

__________________________________________________ __________

VERSUS
__________________________________________________ __________



Scott Van Dyke presents:
In asociation with DMH pictures:
"The Aftermath"

Starring:
"Old Blue Eyes" Frank Sinatra, played by himself, Owner of the North-side Chicago Hooters and Capo in the Chicago family mafia.

Forest Gump, played by Tom Hanks, Reknowned underground "cleaner" and Hitman for the mob, whom somehow always escapes arrest.

Randle Patrick McMurphy, played by Jack Nickleson as: McMurphy, the colorful bartender.

Kaysor Soze, played by Kevin Spacey as: The crooked bookeeper.

Also starring:

Cybil, played by Sally Field as: The waitress with many personalities.

and Laura Croft, played by Angelina Jolie as: L.C., the "bouncer".

Setting: "Hooter's" Bar and Restaurant, Chicago, Illinois.

The first scene opens with the camera on L.C. and Forest at the enterence of the restaurant. L.C. won't let Forest into the place because of his demeanor and "bizaare" speech impedement. The longer they argue, the more heated it becomes.

Meanwhile, inside the restaurant, Frank has paid his accountant, Soze, a visit. Frank owns this particular "Hooter's", and it's not been making the money it should; hence the meeting between frank and Soze at the remote, distant table #16. Frank keeps looking at his watch, awaiting the arrival of his "cleaner" Forest. Forest has a job to do for Frank at table #16. Frank has no idea of the confrontation at the front door.

Soze, with a guilty conscience and a swift mind of his own, is no fool, and is becoming very nervous.

As Cybil starts a frantic escapade, while McMurphy eggs her on,from behind the bar, the patrons turn their attention , and the unspoken emotions at table #16 continue to escalate.

Frank stands up suddenly to address the problem at the bar. this causes Soze to stand, turn around, and see the infamous "Forest" just now entering.

Soze panics, and reaches for his ankle....

------------------------------------------------------------


If I remember correctly, Brad voted for The Aftermath.

And

SteveGon and George voted for Babs' Demonic Orgy.

Please correct me if I am wrong.

 

[Matt Heebner]

I really like the potential of "The Aftermath". I'm voting for that.


Matt

 

[george kaplan]

I won't repeat all my reasoning, but Bab's Demonic Orgy

 

[Ric Bagoly]

Bab's Demonic Orgy

 

[SteveGon]

Bab's Demonic Orgy

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

Well, since this is the most unpopular thread since the "Air Supply" thread I farted all over last month, I guess I'll relunctantly concede and move to greener pastures.

It really doesn't appear that anyone is interested in reading these synapses any longer. Damn shame, too, seeing as I thought mine was pretty clever and actually spent quite a bit of time playing around with the characters.:frowning:

The only vote I got was from my buddy Matt, and after asking my sister to vote for me, she obviously never did. :frowning:

 

[Brad Porter]

I voted for you.

Brad

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

Thanks Brad. You da man...

 

[Brian Kissinger]

Well after a virtual whirlwind of voting and back-and-forth battling, Bab's Demonic Orgy gets the one vote victory.

On the round 2.

OPC Productions presents a John Frankenheimer film

THE HOME LIFE OF AN ADVENTURER

It's 1969, and former Navy Seal Frederick Magnuson (Alan Swann, "My Favorite Year") is living a civilian's life with his loving but Women's Libber wife Laura (Mrs. Robinson, "The Graduate") and his aspiring scientist son William (Marty McFly, "Back To The Future") in Los Angeles, California. One day, while working on a flying contraption, William is seized by a trio of Manson-family style Y/Hippies. The man of the group is Lazarus Ingraham (Pumkin, "Pulp Fiction") and his two free-loving wives are named Lisa and Wendy (played by Thelma and Louise from the movie of the same name). William has been kidnapped because the Ingrahams need his mechanical expertise to build an airplane to get them into Seaside Federal Bank for a terrorist attack. Now, Frederick, with the assistance of Laura and William's friend Stevie (Jay Phat Buds, the Jersey "Trilogy") will use all of his Navy Seal training to get back his son.

You'll never settle down when you have...

THE HOME LIFE OF AN ADVENTURER

An exciting new movie from the producers of "New Jersey Dust" and the Oscar-winning "Dancing Through Time".

__________________________________________________ __________

VERSUS
__________________________________________________ __________


The Following preview is intended for Mature audiences only

(Screen is black. Super-smooth, velvet-voiced, voice-over guy comes to life.)

This summer, Hardcore Forrest Branch Pictures invites you to experience true love for the first time all over again

(The screen comes alive with a beautiful scene of a Dutch country-side brimming with flowers, shrubs, and pristine, blue waters. Slowly, a couple emerges, holding hands.)

Their love was real, pure, and brilliant.

(The couple can now be seen clearly. It is Rick [Tom Hanks from Bachelor Party fame], and Ariel [The Little Mermaid]. They look deep and longingly into each other’s eyes.)

But her beauty and homemade pastries were admired by many.

(The scene is of Rick and Ariel’s small house where they have a small table with a few pastries upon it for sale. An old lady has just made a purchase. “You should get the word out on your pastries. They are so delicious. The screen cuts to the inside of a billiards hall where the owner, Pepe Le Pew, stands talking with his trusted friend/henchman, Leonard ("Warthog from Hell") Smalls. “I must have her. She is so fine, so beautiful, that red hair, and those perfect, seashell-sized breasts of hers. And I hear she has the tastiest, sweetest pie in town. She will be mine! I will taste her pie!”)


Then one day, tragedy struck their world

(Axel Foley [busted down all the way to crappy, bad-news-giver cop] comes to Ariel’s house. “I’m sorry [he says in that best friend is in a coma voice] to have to tell you this, but Rick got caught under a falling avalanche on his way home today.”
“But there are no mountains around.”
“Yes, very strange, I know.”)

Her world was thrown up-side down, and her heart was broken. And some knew more than they should.


(The scene opens on Sgr. Stedenko (Up In Smoke) sitting in his office on the phone. “I won’t be able to keep quiet anymore. My conscience won’t allow it. What’s that? You won’t give me anymore? But the evidence room is completely cleared out. Well, if you can get it here within the next two hours, my conscience may just get amnesia.” He pulls out a super bong, and releases his guilt.)

And some times marriages of convenience take the place of marriages of the heart.

(Cut to Pepe Le Pew talking with Ariel. “Please, be with me. I have a dream. A dream where people can play pool, and enjoy fresh pastries at the same time. With you, I can make that dream a reality.”
“Just as long as you know, business is all it is. After Rick, I’ll never love again. And I’ll have to bring my oven with me. All the love I had for Rick, I put into that oven. It is the secret behind my pastries.”)

And as the first ever pastry pool hall grew in success, so did her feelings for him.

(Cut to a scene of Pepe and Ariel looking deeply at each other. Pepe has pool cue in hand, and Ariel with a puff of flour on her cheek. They slowly lean in and kiss.)

But then all her earlier wishes are granted.

(Cut to a scene of Rick swaggering down a trail. And from there, cut to a scene of Rick and Ariel together. “I thought you were dead.”
“My love for you, and my own feces, was able to keep me alive for these last three years.”)

Now she must choose between her business and budding love, and the deep love she labored so hard to forget.

(Cut to a scene of Ariel weeping. “What do I do now? The only thing that makes any sense anymore, is making my wonderful pastries.”)

Will she choose her new partner/lover with his deviant French sexual desires and his dark side, or her pure, first love and his new fecal desires? Perhaps the answers lie within :


The Dutch Oven

directed by Steve Guttenberg

 

[Brad Porter]

For the reasons previously stated, both positive and negative, I cast a vote for The Dutch Oven.

Does anyone here not use that term to refer to the act of farting under the covers?

Brad

 

[Brian Kissinger]

Does anyone here not use that term to refer to the act of farting under the covers?

It always cracks me up to hear that. I was under the impression that a Dutch Oven was farting under the covers, and then placing your loved-one's head under the covers as well.

 

[Brad Porter]

Well, all you really have to do is open the covers by their face. The patented Dutch Oven convection process takes care of the rest.

Brad

 

[SteveGon]

The Dutch Oven



My dog hates it when I fart under the covers.