A little ditty.... :)

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Joseph Howard, Nov 15, 2001.

  1. Joseph Howard

    Joseph Howard Stunt Coordinator

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    Willie found some dynamite,
    Didn't understand it quite.
    Curiosity seldom pays,
    It rained Willie seven days.
    Dr. Joe
     
  2. Kenneth

    Kenneth Supporting Actor

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    How about this oldie:
    Little Willie with a taste for gore;
    Nailed his brother to the door;
    Said his Mother, with a humorous taint;
    Be Careful Dear, don't scratch the paint.
    Or in a less bloodthirsty mode:
    There once was a lady from Niger,
    who smiled as she rode on a Tiger.
    They returned from the ride,
    with the lady inside,
    and the smile on the face of the Tiger.
    The other day on my back stair,
    I met a man who wasn't there.
    He wasn't there again today,
    I wish, I wish, he'd go away.
    [​IMG]
    Kenneth
    [Edited last by Kenneth on November 15, 2001 at 01:21 PM]
     
  3. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

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    There once was a man from Nantucket...
    ..oh wait... nevermind. [​IMG]
    ------------------
    "The internet is a place where people from all over come together to
    bitch about movies and share pornography."
     
  4. Joseph Howard

    Joseph Howard Stunt Coordinator

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    I'll finish that one....
    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Who kept his cash in a bucket.
    His daughter named, "Nan,"
    Ran off with a man.
    And as for the bucket?
    "Nan-tucket!!"
    Dr. Joe
     
  5. Mike Broadman

    Mike Broadman Producer

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    This may seem stupid, but is there actually a limerick that starts off with "There once was a man from Nantucket," is there no such limerick and it's just a running joke?
     
  6. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

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    Mike,
    Oh yeah...
    Spoiler space for the easily offended!
    Spoiler:There once was a man from Nantucket
    who had a dick so long he could suck it
    he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin
    "If my nose were a cunt, I would fuck it!"

    Don't say you weren't warned....
    ------------------
    "The internet is a place where people from all over come together to
    bitch about movies and share pornography."
     
  7. John Spencer

    John Spencer Supporting Actor

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    Actually, Joseph's version has been around for at least 100 years or more by published records. It's actually the first stanza of a limerick quatrain published, I believe, in one of the New England states.
    ------------------
    ...I could go on, but I need to take a shit.
    -Jason Whyte on "Corky Romano"
     
  8. Clinton McClure

    Clinton McClure Casual Enthusiast
    Supporter

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    Real Name:
    Clint
    Gene Gene made a machine,
    Joe Joe made it go,
    Art Art blew a fart
    And blew the whole damn thing apart.
    ~ Bobcat Goldwait (sp?)
    ------------------
    My DVD Collection Casa del Clint
     
  9. Joseph Howard

    Joseph Howard Stunt Coordinator

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    Complete the following....
    "Starkle starkle little pink...
    Who the Hell are you do I think..."
    --Dr. Joe
     
  10. Dan Hine

    Dan Hine Screenwriter

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    Here's one:
    There once was a very fine lass
    who had such a very nice ass.
    But it was not round and pink
    as you'd probably think,
    But had big floppy ears and ate grass.
    Dan Hine
     
  11. Steven K

    Steven K Supporting Actor

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    Little Timmy took a drink
    But he'll drink no more
    Cause what he thought was H-2-0
    Was H-2-S-O-4
    or, this one that one of my friends wrote for a death-metal head co-worker of mine named John Duffy:
    There once was a dude named Duff
    Who listened to music so tough
    He'd get his chick high
    For he was quite sly
    And spend all night pounding her muff
    or the ever popular bathroom limericks:
    Here I sit
    Broken-hearted
    Tried to shit
    But only farted
    Here I sit
    Buns 'a Flexin
    About to give birth
    To a mighty Texan
    Here I sit
    No bones about it
    I grunt, I sqeal
    And then I sprout it
    [Edited last by Steven K on November 15, 2001 at 09:09 PM]
     
  12. Kevin T

    Kevin T Screenwriter

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    there once was a man named dave
    who found a dead whore in a cave
    she was missing a tit
    and smelled like shit
    but think of the money he'd save!
    kevin t
     
  13. Brad_W

    Brad_W Screenwriter

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  14. RogerB

    RogerB Second Unit

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    How's this, Dr. Joe:
    Starkle starkle little Pink
    Who the hell are you do I think
    Up on stage, eyebrow shy
    Like a Nazi kicking high
    Starkle starkle little Pink
    Who the hell are you do I think
    ------------------
    Visit The NeoBijou
     
  15. KyleK

    KyleK Second Unit

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    Here's another from the scrawled-on-bathroom-stall variety:
    Here I sit in deadly vapor
    'cause I'm all out of toilet paper
    How much longer will I linger
    Before I have to use my finger
     
  16. GARY C

    GARY C Second Unit

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    Here's one
    Shot an arrow in the air
    Where it lands I do not care
    Hark I hear a lady grunt
    I think I hit her in the... elbow
    ------------------
    If you can't learn to do something right, learn to enjoy doing it poorly!
     
  17. Jeffrey Noel

    Jeffrey Noel Screenwriter

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    This has got to be my favorite!!
    Enjoy! [​IMG]
    SOTALLY TOBER
    Starkle starkle little twink
    who the hell you are I think
    I'm not under what you call
    the alcofluence of incohol
    I'm just a little slort of sheep
    I'm not drunk like tinkle peep
    I don't know who is me yet
    but the drunker I stand here
    the longer I get
    Just give me one more drink
    to fill me cup
    'cuz I got all day sober
    to Sunday up.
    ------------------
    God bless!
    jeffrey noel
    My DVD Collection
     
  18. John Kilduff

    John Kilduff Screenwriter

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    Here's one:
    There's a flatulent actor named Barton
    With a lifestyle dramatically spartan
    But then one day
    Someone wrote a play
    With a role in which Barton could fart in
    (Thank you, George Carlin)
    Sincerely,
    John "Seven words" Kilduff
    ------------------
    "Who makes it happen?"
    "I make it happen"-
    Sigourney Weaver and Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl"
     

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