Brian Thibodeau
Supporting Actor
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2003
- Messages
- 992
It’s a given that filmmakers often say stupid things on DVD audio commentaries. It’s also a given that a great many of them have so little to say, even when the picture at hand appears to have some depth, that they quickly devolve into narrators of their own films.
Occasionally a commentary offers so little to enrich the experience that it makes your ears bleed. These commentaries usually feature actors.
But in listening to these tracks for almost six months straight while I’m at the office (so more productive things can be done at home later on), I’ve come to dread the utterance of certain phrases such as the one posted in the header of this thread.
I’m at work this morning, listening to yet another DVD audio commentary to make the day a little less sleepy. The movie is the Count of Monte Cristo, an entertaining but seriously bastardized adaptation of Alexandre Dumas novel. The speaker is Kevin Reynolds, who wouldn’t sound out of place calling a NASCAR race. About twenty minutes in, he recounts the inspirational tale of how he wasn’t feeling very good they day they shot some scene, really under the weather, you know? “But we managed to pull it off,” he says. Oh, the sacrifice these people make for our entertainment! What valour. What devotion. What balls to think that some insignificant little setback that forced them to work in adverse conditions might invoke our pity. A tornado hits and wipes out your sets? Okay, maybe. Leading actor dies half way through the production. How DID you manage to complete the film? But you woke up sick? Big deal, buddy. Tell me something important.
Now the point of this is that I’ve ACTUALLY heard “But I think we pulled it off” in no less than FOUR audio comentaries in the last week-and-a-half. Don’t ask me to name them, ‘cause the irritation was a cumulative effect. And this isn’t the only line that seems to pop up ad nauseam. There are others, but I don’t have time to remember them right now.
But it has got me to wondering if others have noticed any glaring cliches that filmmakers fall back on when yakking about themselves and how great they are (Kevin Reynolds actually thinks his film is BETTER than the novel!). Or does anyone have nominees for the worst or most useless commentaries ever to appear on DVD? Figured if anyone actaully listened to the damned things besides myself, they’d likely be haunting HTF.
Please no comments about the good, informative commentaries, of which there are many, and on which I could expound for hours. I wanna know which ones to AVOID to save myself future suffering. As many of the film buffs here will attest, listening to the commentaries almost feels like it should be done to justify the cost of the disc (and in keeping with our completist mentalities), and many in other threads wonder if they’ll ever have the time (take ‘em to work if you can, I say!). Granted, I don’t listen to ALL of them, and rarely listen to them at home unless they’re subbed, but I find nothing makes a work day go faster than listening to two or three of them throughout the day. Sometimes the bad ones are worth a laugh, though.
Off the top of my head, one that immediately comes to mind is the audio commentary for Resident Evil, featuring Paul Anderson, Milla Jovovich and Michele Rodriguez. Paul at least scores points for ATTEMPTING to discuss the film they’re watching, while the two vaccuous harpies seated next to him discuss what parties they’re going to, how good they look, how “gross” or “cool” the gore is on-screen and contribute utterly NOTHING to the experience while frequently cutting off Anderson mid-sentence, from which he never recovers his thoughts. You can only imagine the low-class caterwauling that occurs when Milla’s crotch flashes across the screen at the film's, ahem, climax. Avoid this track at all costs!
Any others I should know about?
Occasionally a commentary offers so little to enrich the experience that it makes your ears bleed. These commentaries usually feature actors.
But in listening to these tracks for almost six months straight while I’m at the office (so more productive things can be done at home later on), I’ve come to dread the utterance of certain phrases such as the one posted in the header of this thread.
I’m at work this morning, listening to yet another DVD audio commentary to make the day a little less sleepy. The movie is the Count of Monte Cristo, an entertaining but seriously bastardized adaptation of Alexandre Dumas novel. The speaker is Kevin Reynolds, who wouldn’t sound out of place calling a NASCAR race. About twenty minutes in, he recounts the inspirational tale of how he wasn’t feeling very good they day they shot some scene, really under the weather, you know? “But we managed to pull it off,” he says. Oh, the sacrifice these people make for our entertainment! What valour. What devotion. What balls to think that some insignificant little setback that forced them to work in adverse conditions might invoke our pity. A tornado hits and wipes out your sets? Okay, maybe. Leading actor dies half way through the production. How DID you manage to complete the film? But you woke up sick? Big deal, buddy. Tell me something important.
Now the point of this is that I’ve ACTUALLY heard “But I think we pulled it off” in no less than FOUR audio comentaries in the last week-and-a-half. Don’t ask me to name them, ‘cause the irritation was a cumulative effect. And this isn’t the only line that seems to pop up ad nauseam. There are others, but I don’t have time to remember them right now.
But it has got me to wondering if others have noticed any glaring cliches that filmmakers fall back on when yakking about themselves and how great they are (Kevin Reynolds actually thinks his film is BETTER than the novel!). Or does anyone have nominees for the worst or most useless commentaries ever to appear on DVD? Figured if anyone actaully listened to the damned things besides myself, they’d likely be haunting HTF.
Please no comments about the good, informative commentaries, of which there are many, and on which I could expound for hours. I wanna know which ones to AVOID to save myself future suffering. As many of the film buffs here will attest, listening to the commentaries almost feels like it should be done to justify the cost of the disc (and in keeping with our completist mentalities), and many in other threads wonder if they’ll ever have the time (take ‘em to work if you can, I say!). Granted, I don’t listen to ALL of them, and rarely listen to them at home unless they’re subbed, but I find nothing makes a work day go faster than listening to two or three of them throughout the day. Sometimes the bad ones are worth a laugh, though.
Off the top of my head, one that immediately comes to mind is the audio commentary for Resident Evil, featuring Paul Anderson, Milla Jovovich and Michele Rodriguez. Paul at least scores points for ATTEMPTING to discuss the film they’re watching, while the two vaccuous harpies seated next to him discuss what parties they’re going to, how good they look, how “gross” or “cool” the gore is on-screen and contribute utterly NOTHING to the experience while frequently cutting off Anderson mid-sentence, from which he never recovers his thoughts. You can only imagine the low-class caterwauling that occurs when Milla’s crotch flashes across the screen at the film's, ahem, climax. Avoid this track at all costs!
Any others I should know about?
